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from the pov of a seven year old named jason whose favorite pokemon is bulbasaur
ending is crappy and this whole thing is crappy oh well

I don't understand.

Sissy is crying. She's holding her face in her hands and our parents are yelling. They're telling her she needs help and she needs to be fixed but I don't understand. How can you fix something that's not broken?

I have never seen my father's face so red. He takes my mother by the hand and they leave the house. I turn to my sister and I can see the pain in her eyes.

"Why are you sad?" I ask her, tilting my head. "Why don't you call Sarah? She always makes you happy."

At my words, she began to sob louder. I looked at my hands, not knowing what I did wrong.

I remember the first day I met Sarah. I was waiting on the front steps for Sissy to come home. She had promised she would watch a show with me at 3 PM, and it was 3:05. I saw her coming up the block. She wore a huge smile, the biggest I had ever seen. She was laughing into someone's shoulder. It was of a girl I had never seen before. I noticed they were holding hands. I leapt to my feet and ran down the block to greet her.

"Jason," Sissy said, voice dropping to an uneasy whisper. "This is Sarah. My... girlfriend."

I grinned, holding out my hand to the girl. Her lips were a pretty pink and her eyeliner was smudged. She took my hand and the corners of her mouth tugged upward. "Hey, Jason."

Sissy planted a kiss upon her cheek and then mumbled a good-bye. She took me back inside and we watched cartoons for the rest of the night in silence.

That girl walked home with Sissy every day since then. I can't fathom what was shared between them. It was a feeling and a look that they seemed to share that I couldn't imagine feeling. I remember thinking that what between them was love. An overwhelming sense of happiness between two people that only they could feel. My sister was in love.

But here we are now. Sissy is crying and so am I because I don't understand and I don't like when I can't understand things.

"Don't you get it, you stupid kid? Mom and dad found out. They found out about her and now I'm in trouble and oh my, oh my God there is something wrong with me."

"They found out about Sarah?" I ask, struggling to comprehend. "But why is that a bad thing? I thought love was good... Mommy and daddy have love, don't they? Why can't you?"

Sissy balls her fists in frustration. "It's different. It's a different love that we can't have. I was wrong to think that I could like her." She collects herself and rises to her feet and runs upstairs to her room.

****************************

I never saw Sissy again. What replaced her was a hollow-eyed girl, too lost in her own thoughts to hold a steady conversation. She left the following summer for college, a place too far away to visit.

Since then, I have been afraid. I have been afraid of the feelings I acquired years after for a boy in my grade. I am afraid of the judgment I will face and the shame that will follow.

I am not broken, but I am not whole. My love has been snatched away from me by the clutches of society's chastising arms. Don't love like this, don't look like this. I am not complete because the welcoming capability of my love has been stolen from me like it was Sissy's.

I've got a better chance of mending society than myself. The world will change but I will not. I can only hope that it's in my favor.

fin.